Chinese Wedding Customs: A Practical Guide

By the VowToDo team · 27 July 2026 · 8 min read

Chinese wedding customs can feel like a maze of auspicious dates and symbolic gifts — especially when both families have opinions. Here’s what each tradition means, roughly when it happens, and how Singapore couples adapt them today. Details vary by dialect group (Hokkien, Teochew, Cantonese, Hainanese, Hakka), so treat your elders as the final authority.

Choosing auspicious dates

Many families consult the Chinese almanac (Tong Shu) or a geomancer to pick dates for the wedding, the Guo Da Li and the An Chuang, based on the couple’s birth dates. Even couples who don’t believe often pick an “approved” date to keep the peace — it costs nothing and means a lot to grandparents.

Guo Da Li (过大礼) — the betrothal

Usually held two to four weeks before the wedding, Guo Da Li is the groom’s family formally delivering betrothal gifts to the bride’s family: the pin jin (bride price, an amount agreed between families), oranges in even numbers, traditional cakes and sweets, and dialect-specific items. The bride’s family returns a portion (hui li) to signal shared blessing rather than a transaction. Wedding shops in Chinatown sell complete dialect-specific Guo Da Li sets if you don’t want to assemble one.

Si Dian Jin (四点金)

Traditionally from the groom’s mother to the bride: a four-piece gold jewellery set (necklace, bangle, ring, earrings) presented at Guo Da Li or the tea ceremony — a promise that the bride will be well looked after.

An Chuang (安床) — setting the bed

On an auspicious date before the wedding, the matrimonial bed is made with new red bedding and scattered with symbolic items (red dates, longans, lotus seeds — a pun on “早生贵子”, having children soon). A child bouncing on the bed is the classic good-luck touch. The bed then isn’t slept in alone until the wedding night.

Gatecrashing (闯门) — the door games

On the wedding morning, the groom and his brothers arrive to “fetch” the bride — and the sisters block the door with games and forfeits (eating challenges across sour-sweet-bitter-spicy, dares, push-ups) until the groom proves his sincerity and pays an ang bao toll. It’s chaos by design, and it’s where the best photos of the day happen.

The tea ceremony (敬茶)

The heart of the customary wedding. The couple serves sweet tea to elders in order of seniority — grandparents first, then parents, uncles and aunts, older siblings — addressing each by their proper kinship title. In return, elders give ang baos or jewellery. Usually held at the groom’s home after fetching the bride, then at the bride’s home (order varies by family). Have a helper manage the teapot, cups and a cheat-sheet of kinship titles.

The banquet

March-ins (usually two, with an outfit change), a highlights video, speeches, and the star of the night: the yam seng toast — three rounds, held as long as lungs allow. The couple then toasts table to table. See our wedding-day timeline for how it all fits into one day.

Adapting without offending

• Decide with both families early which customs you’ll keep, shorten or skip — surprises on the day are what cause friction.
• Most customs compress well: tea ceremonies can merge into one session; Guo Da Li can be symbolic rather than lavish.
• Write the plan down and share it, so both families are reading the same script.

Prices, fees and customs change — treat figures here as a 2026 starting point and confirm details with your venue, vendors and marriage.gov.sg where it matters.